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An Angsty Torrent Of Spite And Anger

Feeling: Smug
Weather: Cool
Listening To: Alkaline Trio- Radio

It seems that my October posts are all so angsty and ranty :x

This will probably be the longest angst-rant post ever, but I do need to get it off my chest, even though I’ve talked about it to certain people close to me ♥

I’ve had enough of hypocrites and idiots for the past few week(s) since my last update >_> So damned sick of them. Acquaintances are fine, but if they’re friends whom you have at least trusted, even for a certain period of time, then it really pisses people off. Now let’s take a look…

Hypocrite/Idiot Number 1
Poser. A simple piece of advice for you: Please, don’t talk as though you know that subject for ages, when you actually have just cashed in on the hype =_= Yes, that’s what this individual does. It’s flimsy, obvious, and doesn’t make this individual look smart. If at all, people who actually know their stuff can see through that thin veil and expose this individual as a poser, and guess what, the individual actually looks stupid doing so, if the individual has not already looked stupid doing so. I’d also like to advice the individual to stop peppering their writings with terms that they have just learnt, and use them as though they really understand what they mean and have been using them all their life. It’s really an insult to what the individual is learning.

It’s also disgusting how this individual uses and abuses people, particularly those of the opposite sex, and it’s blatantly obvious that this individual does so. The individual keeps them at an arm’s length for no other purpose than for attention, because when they try to get close, the individual pushes them away or runs, and leaves them hanging there. So sickening. Then when the people eventually gets fed up of this and gives up and moves on, the individual rants and complains about it… but only after the people have actually moved on and started anew. So what else could it be, if not just solely for attention? It’s not like people have never given this individual a chance, several even, even after people have gave up and moved on, and even tried to make them feel included. Yet this individual still does not know how to appreciate them, and blows them by reacting in a selfish, stupid manner via backstabbing. How sad. Not >_>

Oh, and despite how this individual thinks that it is the best thing on Earth, both physically and mentally, this individual really is not. This individual’s exaggeration skills are beyond awesome, that’s all I can say.

Hypocrite/Idiot Number 2
Immature. This one suddenly got worked up over an innocuous sentence, throwing false accusations and peppering it with swear words without so much so as a thought (Then again, these type of people rarely possess any form of basic cognition). Typical immature lala behaviour, plus the bad English and grammar and abuse of short forms really didn’t help cement that stereotype for me >_> Claims that others are acting high and mighty, when this individual is the one doing so with its reaction to the innocent statement. Not only that, the individual professes hate for people who only listen to one side of the story, but then again, the individual obviously does it :P Of course no one is perfect- you don’t need people to tell you that. Anyone with some basic level of common sense and rationale would have already known already.

Think about it: Why react so badly to a sentence that can be interpreted in many different ways? Unless the sentence holds water and/or truth, then you’ll feel offended and lash out :P

Yes, I do have some bones to pick with this individual- mainly because despite thinking of myself as a far-from-ethical-and-moral person with little to no integrity (I’ll do what it takes to get what I want most of the time), the individual is far worse. A strong history of infidelity and unfaithfulness, coupled with very slutty looseness follows this individual. I mean, this individual will have no qualms having sex with anyone at all- if the individual is asked if they want to have sex, the individual will say yes, and when given the opportunity, the individual will even instigate the sex. What’s more, even when this individual is currently attached, the individual will still do it- have sex with anyone who asks or who is available. Oh, the individual’s response would be because they harbour no more feelings towards their partner at that time, but still, there is no reason to do so, right? Why simply have sex with people and whore yourself like that? o_O I cannot believe that such a person actually exists on the face of the Earth, and its presence is a total and complete disgrace. What’s more, people actually have arguments over this individual. Wow. They need some sense slapped into them. It just goes against every fibre of my mortal body. Slut.

And another thing, this individual fails at being a good partner. Lashing out at your partner’s friends with swear words, etc. is a really respectful thing. Sorry, but you’ve got a lot to learn. I’ve seen people younger than you or your age who are far more mature than you. I don’t even know why you’re in college D:

Hypocrite/Idiot Number 3
Two-headed snake. Pretends to be a different person in front of different people. Plays the innocent card, yet fails, and can’t even fabricate lies and stories to cover up their lies properly until they get caught, and when this individual does, this individual lashes out at others, blaming them when it really is this individual’s own fault. Please, I can make up better lies and stories than this individual has. It’s no one else but this individual’s fault that they completely fail at playing several cards in one hand, and not being able to give a good reason for it :P

Furthermore, this individual also seems to be unable to see any friends unhappy, and cheats and lies to them. This individual may have several different friends, and to each of them, spins a different story, but of course, the inconsistency shows. So what if this individual has plenty of money as well as contacts, it’s these inconsistencies that are the slow eventual death of this individual. Why? Because sadly for this individual, trust is a strong bond, and perhaps because this individual has never experienced true trust, cannot fathom that people can trust one another well, and thus did not know and/or expect that people will share information. Apparently, despite the status of this individual, which I’ll term a sad rich individual, most likely also because unfortunately this individual is lacking a lot of love and such (Feel free to add on whatever this individual lacks in this individual’s pathetic life here), this individual is what I’ll also term a pussy. Says that they’d do something, but they actually didn’t. No action, talk only, and it’s not only been once, but proven time and time again. So it’s all nothing but empty threats, and they are nothing but an empty can.

If this individual wants to keep acting like a spoilt little child throwing tantrums, claiming to be “unappreciated” despite “having done so much for others”, so be it, because that’s not the truth. This individual also attempts to make up lies to discredit others, and those who don’t know about this individual will most likely fall into its trap… although not for long since the web of lies is so fragile, it won’t hold for long.

Ah, but then again, these people are obviously being put through a rocky patch XD They have felt suitably offended by my points, mainly because they are true, and I know it affects them in many negative ways ;) It makes me happy and proud to be able to have screwed up with their days :3 And by this, they are also digging their own graves slowly. It does feel good to be able to let loose this torrent of spite and anger, and now they shall be mentioned no more, and I shall get on with my beautiful life :D *Closes file*

Oh, and one last thing before the file is closed, locked and burned forever: All their “innocent” façades are crumbling, and people are starting to see their true selves. I’m glad I played a part in expediting this process, and that I have a really supportive and understanding boyfriend as well as friend(s) :3 Many ♥

Filed Under: Rants  2 Swirls Or Inkblots

Pain

Feeling: Cathartic
Weather: At The Moment, Cold
Listening To: Linkin Park- My December

Something I heard during my PSY206 Abnormal Psychology group meeting and outing to the P.S. The Children centre earlier:

When someone starts to function solely on cognition, completely void and detached from emotions, the only way for that person to control all the pent-up emotions that he/she has been trying so hard to deny, is by substituting the mental pain with physical pain. To them, the physical pain is much more tolerable than the mental pain struggling to break free inside of them, and it at least gives them a sense of control over their pain.

OK, so those were not the exact words, but along those lines. It just sticks with me so vividly, maybe because I can relate to it.

Argh day trip to Ipoh for breakfast in a few hours T_T

Thank you Louis dear for everything ♥ For putting things into perspective for me, for reassuring me, for supporting me, for tolerating me, for being there for me, for comforting me, for taking care of me, for wanting me, for loving me and so much much more.

090909 Rant

Feeling: Ranty
Weather: Cool
Listening To: Seether Featuring Amy Lee- Broken

So today is the 9th September 2009, or 090909. I couldn’t resist getting this entry as well, though :P

Anyway, as with any other “special” day, a lot of couples choose to get married on this day. En masse. I just don’t get it.

First of all, the point of weddings is to celebrate your union with your significant other. Sure, weddings don’t necessarily mean that you have finally “gotten” your significant other in your grasp legally so now you don’t have to work for your relationship and continue appreciating them in every way possible. In fact, weddings and/or marriage is just another step- it’s a start. If at all, you need to work harder on your relationship now that you’re married, and not take your significant other for granted even more. So, anyway, weddings are supposed to be special, and personal, and intimate, between a couple… so why share it with [insert random number here] couples together at one go? D: It completely loses its uniqueness :| I’ll never understand mass weddings.

Second of all, call me superstitious, but this is the 7th lunar month, also known to the Chinese as the Hungry Ghost Month. By tradition, it’s not a favourable month to do anything auspicious, such as renovating your house, moving house, and especially not get married because of all the so-called “negative” energy emanating from the month. So why do the couples who, knowing this, still choose to get married on this day? D: Yes, I know, something like 090909 doesn’t come along everyday, but still. Just to “remember” your anniversary on a date that “special”? I’d like to know, is it worth taking this risk? :x I may not be the most superstitious person around, but I’d rather play safe than be sorry >_>

[/endrant]

So err… yeah… otherwise, happy 090909 and stuff :P

In other news, I can’t wait for tomorrow ♥

Filed Under: Rants  7 Swirls Or Inkblots

I Feel Like Crap

Feeling: Exhausted, Guilty, Crappy
Weather: Cool
Listening To: Luna Sea- Crazy About You

I really do. I know that I shouldn’t be, and that things aren’t my fault and are beyond my control, but still.

Shit happened earlier. The night started innocuously enough- waiting for him to get off work so we could have a late dinner, and once he arrived, set out for Kayu Nasi Kandar near my place. I suppose it’s a lapse of judgment on everyone involved’s part- me, Louis and my Mum. First, we were using his car- his Dad‘s car to be exact. Secondly, no one remembered his Kata laptop bag, with his Dell laptop, in the car. And when we returned after food, the rear passenger window was smashed in and the bag had gone ._.

Strangely, I don’t feel any anger for the people who did this, though. I know I’d normally rage and rant about how they should be disemboweled, decapitated, etc. but for some reason, not this time.

I am rather fond of that bag of his, and the laptop has seen me through days of boredom (As well as getting work done on it) whilst working in Gamer’s Hideout at Tropicana City Mall and has kept me company when Louis lent it to me… so yeah, there’s the sense of attachment there. That, and I also know that he needs to use them, especially when his University begins. Sigh.

Well, I suppose that we should be thankful in a way that nothing else was damaged or taken.

That being said, I can’t help but internalise what has happened. Meh. There’s so many “what if” questions, and also, what’s eating me inside is that I also think that since Louis has started dating me, he’s been going through a lot, and a lot of things like this has happened to him. Yes, I can’t help but feel that way, for being some sort of misfortune to him. All I can do for him now is to try and support him as much as I can, and to be strong for him, but admittedly, it’s hard, and it’s not in me to try to be patient and understanding >_> I just want to hug Louis. I just want everything to go well for him. I just want everything to go smoothly for him. I really do love him, and of course, I want the best for him. I want to be there for him through everything, and we will go through all of this together, and I will try my best to help him. After all, tragedies and problems either make or break bonds.

Yes, I do know that shit does happen, but why does it have to? I mean, what’s the point? :| It’s not like we need to be taught a lesson… or maybe we do when it comes to carefulness ._. But Louis still didn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve any of this.

And for now: Need money T_T

I don’t feel like going to class. I can feel a relapse of depression :x

P.S. I also hate people who take advantage of me, talking to me/asking me stuff only when they need it, but otherwise ignoring me completely. I feel very insulted and used.

Filed Under: Rants  4 Swirls Or Inkblots