Archive for the Category »Rants «

Killer Semester

Feeling: Worn Out, Anticipative
Weather: Cool
Listening To: AC/DC- Shoot To Thrill

As per title, to answer why I haven’t been updating much ._. The short semester that started on 17th May was so in-your-face, I almost died of suffocation from it. What’s worse, the 2 weeks break before it didn’t give me enough time to recuperate, so yeah @_@

Apart from starting on my thesis this semester (With a frustratingly blur and unhelpful supervisor, nonetheless) to be completed by December 2010, there’s also this huge painful group project for PSY302 Introduction To Industrial/Organisational Psychology. 12 random people in a group, and approximately about only 4 weeks to come up with a few hundred paged proposal assignment. Massive increase of blood pressure and stress levels, the former contributed also by certain group members. Thankfully I chose to stay out of leading this time, as managing 12 people would cause a coronary. Leading my own sub-group of 4 (Me included, though) was already giving me some popped veins here and there.

Let’s see… presentation tomorrow, thesis defence and PSY307 Substance Abuse assignment due on Monday. At least it has become more manageable *Sigh of relief* And I’m also learning to relax and manage my stress levels :\ One of my ways is by going for monthly facials :P Expensive, yes, sadly, but at least it keeps some semblance of balance in my life (And not to mention, skin)!

My last final paper will be on the 16th July, and after that I would be free until 31st August… not a very long holiday unfortunately, but I would be glad to have a break at least D:

And I want to attend Slash’s concert in Malaysia!

Oh, I almost forgot. It’s the Dumpling Festival today T_T Parents are in Labuan. Thank goodness dearest Louis bought dumplings… or I wouldn’t even have dumplings today!

Filed Under: Rants  2 Swirls Or Inkblots

My Postgraduate Decision

Feeling: Contemplative
Weather: Cool
Listening To: The sound of the photocopy machine

I think I’ve pretty much decided that I do not want to go overseas to pursue my Master’s postgraduate degree.

1. It’s only a year- two at most, but even then, there are no long breaks unlike a Bachelor’s undergraduate degree. Part of the reason for going overseas is to explore and experience the place, but with the time constraints and the short period of time I would be there, it would be near impossible to do so and won’t be as enjoyable.
2. Stricter visa restrictions are imposed now. No thanks to the people who take advantage of visas for the wrong reasons- going overseas, especially for studies is not as easy as it used to be anymore. Even if you are guaranteed a place in the university and have made all the necessary preparations and have all the necessary paperwork, there is still no guarantee that your visa would be approved.
3. I would have to fly back and forth at least once (If I’m lucky), maybe twice, just for the application process, including interviews and all, which is time consuming. Instead of starting, say, next year after I graduate, I might start in another 2 years instead once everything is settled.
4. I would rather my parents save the money for me to go overseas to study and I use it for going for an overseas holiday instead, where I can really enjoy it. Or I could save up the money.

However, my dreams are not that all dashed :D I intend to apply to either a university in Singapore- maybe Nanyang Technological University, or to The University Of Nottingham- Malaysia Campus, where they’re nearer (Thus eliminating the problems I’ve listed), and have the courses I intend to pursue. A plus is that The University Of Nottingham- Malaysia Campus is a branch of The University Of Nottingham in the UK- not an affiliation but the actual university itself.

Possibly considering New Zealand, but definitely not Australia- it’s overrated and the standards are pretty horrible, at least for my course and from what I heard from those who have transferred over and/or are studying the course there.

I would also like to state, for once and for all, that my decision to pursue my Master’s postgraduate degree nearer to home and/or locally is not influenced by anyone. I don’t understand why everyone (Read: Family, mainly) seems to think I am so easily influenced =_= Plus, I am not easily swayed, and consider a lot of factors before I actually make a decision. Also, the reason why it seems like I’m so indecisive about my Master’s postgraduate degree course is because there are a variety of choices I can choose and actually want to study- but I need to factor in things such as job market availability and the like. I can’t just take a course that although I like, won’t be able to give me a job, right? :\ It’s just not feasible. So yeah.

My mid term results for this semester impresses even myself- 16.86/20 for PSY303 Counselling Theories And Techniques, 23/30 for PSY305 Ethics In Psychology (I even scored 14/15 for the subjective part… which I honestly don’t remember what I wrote XD Pure BS!) and 21/30 respectively for PSY310 Cross-Cultural Psychology and PSY315 Human Motivation :D

Filed Under: Rants  1 Swirl Or Inkblot

An Angsty Torrent Of Spite And Anger

Feeling: Smug
Weather: Cool
Listening To: Alkaline Trio- Radio

It seems that my October posts are all so angsty and ranty :x

This will probably be the longest angst-rant post ever, but I do need to get it off my chest, even though I’ve talked about it to certain people close to me ♥

I’ve had enough of hypocrites and idiots for the past few week(s) since my last update >_> So damned sick of them. Acquaintances are fine, but if they’re friends whom you have at least trusted, even for a certain period of time, then it really pisses people off. Now let’s take a look…

Hypocrite/Idiot Number 1
Poser. A simple piece of advice for you: Please, don’t talk as though you know that subject for ages, when you actually have just cashed in on the hype =_= Yes, that’s what this individual does. It’s flimsy, obvious, and doesn’t make this individual look smart. If at all, people who actually know their stuff can see through that thin veil and expose this individual as a poser, and guess what, the individual actually looks stupid doing so, if the individual has not already looked stupid doing so. I’d also like to advice the individual to stop peppering their writings with terms that they have just learnt, and use them as though they really understand what they mean and have been using them all their life. It’s really an insult to what the individual is learning.

It’s also disgusting how this individual uses and abuses people, particularly those of the opposite sex, and it’s blatantly obvious that this individual does so. The individual keeps them at an arm’s length for no other purpose than for attention, because when they try to get close, the individual pushes them away or runs, and leaves them hanging there. So sickening. Then when the people eventually gets fed up of this and gives up and moves on, the individual rants and complains about it… but only after the people have actually moved on and started anew. So what else could it be, if not just solely for attention? It’s not like people have never given this individual a chance, several even, even after people have gave up and moved on, and even tried to make them feel included. Yet this individual still does not know how to appreciate them, and blows them by reacting in a selfish, stupid manner via backstabbing. How sad. Not >_>

Oh, and despite how this individual thinks that it is the best thing on Earth, both physically and mentally, this individual really is not. This individual’s exaggeration skills are beyond awesome, that’s all I can say.

Hypocrite/Idiot Number 2
Immature. This one suddenly got worked up over an innocuous sentence, throwing false accusations and peppering it with swear words without so much so as a thought (Then again, these type of people rarely possess any form of basic cognition). Typical immature lala behaviour, plus the bad English and grammar and abuse of short forms really didn’t help cement that stereotype for me >_> Claims that others are acting high and mighty, when this individual is the one doing so with its reaction to the innocent statement. Not only that, the individual professes hate for people who only listen to one side of the story, but then again, the individual obviously does it :P Of course no one is perfect- you don’t need people to tell you that. Anyone with some basic level of common sense and rationale would have already known already.

Think about it: Why react so badly to a sentence that can be interpreted in many different ways? Unless the sentence holds water and/or truth, then you’ll feel offended and lash out :P

Yes, I do have some bones to pick with this individual- mainly because despite thinking of myself as a far-from-ethical-and-moral person with little to no integrity (I’ll do what it takes to get what I want most of the time), the individual is far worse. A strong history of infidelity and unfaithfulness, coupled with very slutty looseness follows this individual. I mean, this individual will have no qualms having sex with anyone at all- if the individual is asked if they want to have sex, the individual will say yes, and when given the opportunity, the individual will even instigate the sex. What’s more, even when this individual is currently attached, the individual will still do it- have sex with anyone who asks or who is available. Oh, the individual’s response would be because they harbour no more feelings towards their partner at that time, but still, there is no reason to do so, right? Why simply have sex with people and whore yourself like that? o_O I cannot believe that such a person actually exists on the face of the Earth, and its presence is a total and complete disgrace. What’s more, people actually have arguments over this individual. Wow. They need some sense slapped into them. It just goes against every fibre of my mortal body. Slut.

And another thing, this individual fails at being a good partner. Lashing out at your partner’s friends with swear words, etc. is a really respectful thing. Sorry, but you’ve got a lot to learn. I’ve seen people younger than you or your age who are far more mature than you. I don’t even know why you’re in college D:

Hypocrite/Idiot Number 3
Two-headed snake. Pretends to be a different person in front of different people. Plays the innocent card, yet fails, and can’t even fabricate lies and stories to cover up their lies properly until they get caught, and when this individual does, this individual lashes out at others, blaming them when it really is this individual’s own fault. Please, I can make up better lies and stories than this individual has. It’s no one else but this individual’s fault that they completely fail at playing several cards in one hand, and not being able to give a good reason for it :P

Furthermore, this individual also seems to be unable to see any friends unhappy, and cheats and lies to them. This individual may have several different friends, and to each of them, spins a different story, but of course, the inconsistency shows. So what if this individual has plenty of money as well as contacts, it’s these inconsistencies that are the slow eventual death of this individual. Why? Because sadly for this individual, trust is a strong bond, and perhaps because this individual has never experienced true trust, cannot fathom that people can trust one another well, and thus did not know and/or expect that people will share information. Apparently, despite the status of this individual, which I’ll term a sad rich individual, most likely also because unfortunately this individual is lacking a lot of love and such (Feel free to add on whatever this individual lacks in this individual’s pathetic life here), this individual is what I’ll also term a pussy. Says that they’d do something, but they actually didn’t. No action, talk only, and it’s not only been once, but proven time and time again. So it’s all nothing but empty threats, and they are nothing but an empty can.

If this individual wants to keep acting like a spoilt little child throwing tantrums, claiming to be “unappreciated” despite “having done so much for others”, so be it, because that’s not the truth. This individual also attempts to make up lies to discredit others, and those who don’t know about this individual will most likely fall into its trap… although not for long since the web of lies is so fragile, it won’t hold for long.

Ah, but then again, these people are obviously being put through a rocky patch XD They have felt suitably offended by my points, mainly because they are true, and I know it affects them in many negative ways ;) It makes me happy and proud to be able to have screwed up with their days :3 And by this, they are also digging their own graves slowly. It does feel good to be able to let loose this torrent of spite and anger, and now they shall be mentioned no more, and I shall get on with my beautiful life :D *Closes file*

Oh, and one last thing before the file is closed, locked and burned forever: All their “innocent” façades are crumbling, and people are starting to see their true selves. I’m glad I played a part in expediting this process, and that I have a really supportive and understanding boyfriend as well as friend(s) :3 Many ♥

Filed Under: Rants  2 Swirls Or Inkblots

Pain

Feeling: Cathartic
Weather: At The Moment, Cold
Listening To: Linkin Park- My December

Something I heard during my PSY206 Abnormal Psychology group meeting and outing to the P.S. The Children centre earlier:

When someone starts to function solely on cognition, completely void and detached from emotions, the only way for that person to control all the pent-up emotions that he/she has been trying so hard to deny, is by substituting the mental pain with physical pain. To them, the physical pain is much more tolerable than the mental pain struggling to break free inside of them, and it at least gives them a sense of control over their pain.

OK, so those were not the exact words, but along those lines. It just sticks with me so vividly, maybe because I can relate to it.

Argh day trip to Ipoh for breakfast in a few hours T_T

Thank you Louis dear for everything ♥ For putting things into perspective for me, for reassuring me, for supporting me, for tolerating me, for being there for me, for comforting me, for taking care of me, for wanting me, for loving me and so much much more.