Archive for » October, 2009 «

An Angsty Torrent Of Spite And Anger

Feeling: Smug
Weather: Cool
Listening To: Alkaline Trio- Radio

It seems that my October posts are all so angsty and ranty :x

This will probably be the longest angst-rant post ever, but I do need to get it off my chest, even though I’ve talked about it to certain people close to me ♥

I’ve had enough of hypocrites and idiots for the past few week(s) since my last update >_> So damned sick of them. Acquaintances are fine, but if they’re friends whom you have at least trusted, even for a certain period of time, then it really pisses people off. Now let’s take a look…

Hypocrite/Idiot Number 1
Poser. A simple piece of advice for you: Please, don’t talk as though you know that subject for ages, when you actually have just cashed in on the hype =_= Yes, that’s what this individual does. It’s flimsy, obvious, and doesn’t make this individual look smart. If at all, people who actually know their stuff can see through that thin veil and expose this individual as a poser, and guess what, the individual actually looks stupid doing so, if the individual has not already looked stupid doing so. I’d also like to advice the individual to stop peppering their writings with terms that they have just learnt, and use them as though they really understand what they mean and have been using them all their life. It’s really an insult to what the individual is learning.

It’s also disgusting how this individual uses and abuses people, particularly those of the opposite sex, and it’s blatantly obvious that this individual does so. The individual keeps them at an arm’s length for no other purpose than for attention, because when they try to get close, the individual pushes them away or runs, and leaves them hanging there. So sickening. Then when the people eventually gets fed up of this and gives up and moves on, the individual rants and complains about it… but only after the people have actually moved on and started anew. So what else could it be, if not just solely for attention? It’s not like people have never given this individual a chance, several even, even after people have gave up and moved on, and even tried to make them feel included. Yet this individual still does not know how to appreciate them, and blows them by reacting in a selfish, stupid manner via backstabbing. How sad. Not >_>

Oh, and despite how this individual thinks that it is the best thing on Earth, both physically and mentally, this individual really is not. This individual’s exaggeration skills are beyond awesome, that’s all I can say.

Hypocrite/Idiot Number 2
Immature. This one suddenly got worked up over an innocuous sentence, throwing false accusations and peppering it with swear words without so much so as a thought (Then again, these type of people rarely possess any form of basic cognition). Typical immature lala behaviour, plus the bad English and grammar and abuse of short forms really didn’t help cement that stereotype for me >_> Claims that others are acting high and mighty, when this individual is the one doing so with its reaction to the innocent statement. Not only that, the individual professes hate for people who only listen to one side of the story, but then again, the individual obviously does it :P Of course no one is perfect- you don’t need people to tell you that. Anyone with some basic level of common sense and rationale would have already known already.

Think about it: Why react so badly to a sentence that can be interpreted in many different ways? Unless the sentence holds water and/or truth, then you’ll feel offended and lash out :P

Yes, I do have some bones to pick with this individual- mainly because despite thinking of myself as a far-from-ethical-and-moral person with little to no integrity (I’ll do what it takes to get what I want most of the time), the individual is far worse. A strong history of infidelity and unfaithfulness, coupled with very slutty looseness follows this individual. I mean, this individual will have no qualms having sex with anyone at all- if the individual is asked if they want to have sex, the individual will say yes, and when given the opportunity, the individual will even instigate the sex. What’s more, even when this individual is currently attached, the individual will still do it- have sex with anyone who asks or who is available. Oh, the individual’s response would be because they harbour no more feelings towards their partner at that time, but still, there is no reason to do so, right? Why simply have sex with people and whore yourself like that? o_O I cannot believe that such a person actually exists on the face of the Earth, and its presence is a total and complete disgrace. What’s more, people actually have arguments over this individual. Wow. They need some sense slapped into them. It just goes against every fibre of my mortal body. Slut.

And another thing, this individual fails at being a good partner. Lashing out at your partner’s friends with swear words, etc. is a really respectful thing. Sorry, but you’ve got a lot to learn. I’ve seen people younger than you or your age who are far more mature than you. I don’t even know why you’re in college D:

Hypocrite/Idiot Number 3
Two-headed snake. Pretends to be a different person in front of different people. Plays the innocent card, yet fails, and can’t even fabricate lies and stories to cover up their lies properly until they get caught, and when this individual does, this individual lashes out at others, blaming them when it really is this individual’s own fault. Please, I can make up better lies and stories than this individual has. It’s no one else but this individual’s fault that they completely fail at playing several cards in one hand, and not being able to give a good reason for it :P

Furthermore, this individual also seems to be unable to see any friends unhappy, and cheats and lies to them. This individual may have several different friends, and to each of them, spins a different story, but of course, the inconsistency shows. So what if this individual has plenty of money as well as contacts, it’s these inconsistencies that are the slow eventual death of this individual. Why? Because sadly for this individual, trust is a strong bond, and perhaps because this individual has never experienced true trust, cannot fathom that people can trust one another well, and thus did not know and/or expect that people will share information. Apparently, despite the status of this individual, which I’ll term a sad rich individual, most likely also because unfortunately this individual is lacking a lot of love and such (Feel free to add on whatever this individual lacks in this individual’s pathetic life here), this individual is what I’ll also term a pussy. Says that they’d do something, but they actually didn’t. No action, talk only, and it’s not only been once, but proven time and time again. So it’s all nothing but empty threats, and they are nothing but an empty can.

If this individual wants to keep acting like a spoilt little child throwing tantrums, claiming to be “unappreciated” despite “having done so much for others”, so be it, because that’s not the truth. This individual also attempts to make up lies to discredit others, and those who don’t know about this individual will most likely fall into its trap… although not for long since the web of lies is so fragile, it won’t hold for long.

Ah, but then again, these people are obviously being put through a rocky patch XD They have felt suitably offended by my points, mainly because they are true, and I know it affects them in many negative ways ;) It makes me happy and proud to be able to have screwed up with their days :3 And by this, they are also digging their own graves slowly. It does feel good to be able to let loose this torrent of spite and anger, and now they shall be mentioned no more, and I shall get on with my beautiful life :D *Closes file*

Oh, and one last thing before the file is closed, locked and burned forever: All their “innocent” façades are crumbling, and people are starting to see their true selves. I’m glad I played a part in expediting this process, and that I have a really supportive and understanding boyfriend as well as friend(s) :3 Many ♥

Filed Under: Rants  2 Swirls Or Inkblots

Pain

Feeling: Cathartic
Weather: At The Moment, Cold
Listening To: Linkin Park- My December

Something I heard during my PSY206 Abnormal Psychology group meeting and outing to the P.S. The Children centre earlier:

When someone starts to function solely on cognition, completely void and detached from emotions, the only way for that person to control all the pent-up emotions that he/she has been trying so hard to deny, is by substituting the mental pain with physical pain. To them, the physical pain is much more tolerable than the mental pain struggling to break free inside of them, and it at least gives them a sense of control over their pain.

OK, so those were not the exact words, but along those lines. It just sticks with me so vividly, maybe because I can relate to it.

Argh day trip to Ipoh for breakfast in a few hours T_T

Thank you Louis dear for everything ♥ For putting things into perspective for me, for reassuring me, for supporting me, for tolerating me, for being there for me, for comforting me, for taking care of me, for wanting me, for loving me and so much much more.

One Month

Feeling: Pensive
Weather: Warm
Listening To: My Chemical Romance- To The End

One month to possibly getting the HTC Hero >_> Dad asked me to consider for a month, and also to give him time to consider T_T But I’ve already made up my mind, and I’m pretty sure I want it. I do want it more than I wanted the HTC Snap, though :x Can I have it as a belated birthday present instead? *Wags non-existent tail and makes big puppy dog eyes* I promise I’ll be a good girl.

So yeah, I’ve tested (Read: Played with) a working model of the HTC Hero at Fresh Gear, and I am in love with it :D I like the interface (Okay, so it’s almost similar to an iPhone, but never for the life of me will I get that phone. Don’t ask why, I just don’t like it D:), and especially the fact that that on-screen keyboard can be tilted. It makes SMSing easier for me, since I can either SMS with one hand, or two, much like my current HTC TyTN II (Although only with two hands), though without the hassle of sliding out the screen.

Damn it, it’s the first fully touch-screen phone I am pining over T_T Pigs shall fly. Mm. Flying bacon.

In other news, I have been on an emotional roller coaster of some sorts, but nothing too serious. It’s mainly because I’m just ruminating about pointless stuff too much :| At least I realise it. And I should learn to let go. At least Louis is by my side through everything, including this phase I’m going through and I can always count on him to always be there :) He’s the only so far who has really put into actions his words, and meant what he said, and for that I am thankful everyday.

Attending a foster siblings’ wedding, and for some reason, I find his expression cute. I have no idea what expression he was trying to aim for anyway, so don’t ask XD I really love to hear his laugh, and to see him smile. I also like the tone of his voice when he insists that I do/don’t do something, or when he’s trying to assure me. My goodness, I really do love this man don’t I? :x

There’s this ubiquitous question that’s lingering in my head for quite some time: Would you date/be with an ex again?

I’d say no, simply because there is a reason why we became exes in the first place. Now, I’ve never harboured any grudge or ill-will towards mine, but it’s always mainly due to a shift in priorities, aims, goals, opinions, interests, etc. that we broke up. For me, personally, I would never want to go back to an ex- it seems a tad bit awkward, and usually because there’s also no more chemistry between us any more. Plus, re-establishing the foundation for the relationship would seem slightly tedious. That all said, I do not discriminate against nor judge those who date/be with their ex again, mainly because maybe they still have the spark/magic/neurological stimulation (Re: Lighting up like a Christmas tree joke XD) between them, or because by some mutual agreement that both want to give the relationship another try, and are willing to work for it. But then again, which relationship doesn’t require effort? Oh well, to each their own, no? :P

I shall go take a shower, read a little and sleep nao, kthx ♥

P.S. I am suddenly missing Louis :( I miss snuggling up to him and being held by him and just lying down talking to him and feeling his warmth. Meh, this is hopeless T_T

Filed Under: Ramblings  1 Swirl Or Inkblot

Where Did September Go?

Feeling: Hyper-ish
Weather: Warm
Listening To: Oasis- Wonderwall

As per title. September really seems to have flew by fast- not to mention that there were a LOT of birthdays during the month (My 23rd included) >_>

So… there has been some major issue(s) that have happened, which I wouldn’t want to recap or mention (Due to the fact that 1. I am too lazy to type it all out and 2. it’s nothing personal, but rather familial), but it is really really tiring me out and draining me. I really need a break before I really snap and stop functioning altogether ._. Thank goodness for Louis, who has been patiently standing by me throughout the whole ordeal. I’d really not know what to do if he hadn’t been there for me, supporting me.

*Ahem*

Louis and me are wearing matching rings… on our fingers as well as around our necks on necklaces :D Not my idea, though >_> But wearing a ring on a necklace is actually quite pretty, particularly with the specific ring I’m wearing, compared to the plainer rings (Which I prefer to wear on the finger). I shall have better photos of both pairs of rings posted when I take them :x

Camwhore gone right XD I wanted to take a photo of myself wearing the ring (The carbon fibre and stainless steel one, which is now on my necklace, and a belated birthday present from Louis), and I really liked how it turned out instead- my eye and my nail especially ♥ So proud of myself for it :D

In other news…

I’ve gotten a new laptop- on 20th September 2009, if I am not mistaken :3 Sony VAIO SR-46GD, and yes, it’s another VAIO, my third actually :P I swear, I’ve tried looking at laptops from Dell, but I still went back to VAIO mainly because of the design (And colour), and because I am a loyal person >_>

OK, granted, I don’t really like the layout of the new VAIO keyboards at all. It feels very funny actually, and takes some getting used to. The only pro so far is that my nails (If I leave them long… like long long) won’t snag in between the keys XD

Here it is, taken with my minion, carefully and lovingly made for me by Tibbar ♥ The top isn’t as “gritty” as my old laptop, but the overall cover design still hasn’t changed :P

Apart from the keyboard, the design is overall still ♥ The power button at the side, while aesthetically pleasing, seems to be pretty moot on functionality though D: It’s running like a dream so far, and I hope there won’t be any issues of overheating because there’s no dual graphics card for this model, which means certain death >_>

Side by side comparison of the new and old VAIO, for the fun of it XD

Shall post more when I can :D

Oh, right, World Animal Day at Furry Friends Farm this Sunday, 4th October 2009. This whole week has been all about me waking up early, and getting very little sleep. I want my sleep back T_T

Filed Under: Raves  2 Swirls Or Inkblots